Pornography and all other sexually immoral acts and thoughts are symptoms of a bigger problem in our heart. This is where our values reside. We have always known this issue is a problem in our life because the Holy Spirit has been telling us about it. We have the free will to ignore the Spirit and so we do. Perhaps some want to stop but none of their efforts are successful.
The deeply embedded problem is that our values are not what they should be. Even if these thoughts in our hearts are not acted upon, they are considered by Jesus to be sin. There is no difference in his judgment. It is about our values. Our values must change or we will never overcome this problem or any other sin problem.
The values we have are a result of our self-directed life. As we mature as a Christian and the union between us and Christ becomes stronger, we begin to live the God-directed life. Our values are replaced with his values. We cannot do this on our own.
Normal treatment for pornography is some form of therapy: prayer and counseling, self-help books, therapy sessions with a psychologist, or perhaps group therapy. There is nothing wrong with any of these actions. They have been widely accepted and have helped people to change their behavior, usually through development of an individual’s cognitive reasoning, a stronger willpower and determination.
This is not God’s plan. He wants to go beyond the cognitive thinking in our minds and change the values in our hearts. When our values and his values are the same, our thinking and behavior will change automatically, without our willpower. They will be instinctive. We will become who he wants us to be. Only God can do this and he waits for every one of his people to participate with him in bringing this about. God has the power to make this happen but cannot do this without our cooperation.
This cooperation is a back and forth experience with our Lord. We will be giving our Lord permission to change our hearts. This is a supernatural event. Paul calls it the mystery of godliness. It is Christ in you hope of glory. (Colossians 1:27) This is how he transforms a stony heart to a heart to a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) Yes, this also happened in the Old Testament period. This is how our hardened hearts become softened. (Mark 6:52) Working back and forth with God in a relationship protects our free will. As we play our role in this process, we are showing him we want change and are ready for change. We are participating in this change. This relationship is covered in the blog titled “The Cleansing Relationship” with more detail. You must be in an abiding relationship with Christ before you can begin this cleansing relationship.
As we walk on the path that he has shown us, we step off. All Christians do this. We step off the path and fall short of the glory of God. The Holy Spirit is close by and will ensure that we know what we have done. There is no condemnation here. He wants us to get back on the path and he will show us how. (Isaiah 30:21) We are not condemned. We have not lost our salvation. Our sins were forgiven at the cross. The cleansing relationship is working with our Lord beyond the cross. Like Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more. (John 8:11)
In this cleansing relationship we will be working with God at the heart level. Our self-directed values are the source of our sin problems. These evil tendencies are the dark parts of our heart, referenced in Luke 11:34-36. These dark parts need to be removed for more light to shine into our heart. The Lord is ready to help. Wherever we may be when an immoral thought comes into our mind and the Holy Spirit shows us this problem, we put it on our table of sacrifice. We should acknowledge this sin in three ways:
Acknowledge this sin exists.
Acknowledge that it is ours. Don’t blame it on others. Don’t make excuses. Take ownership of this sin.
Acknowledge we can do nothing about it. Our willpower will not work at the heart level.
This thought is now on the table and fully acknowledged. We are to ask for forgiveness, tell him we are committed to him and want this out of our lives. Submit your body as a slave to righteousness. (Romans 6:19) Our part is now completed. This is where faith happens. Step away from the table. It is now his turn. He takes that sin away and forgives you and says go and sin no more. (John 8:11)
Your first session is over and you feel great relief. However, this problem is not over. We will continue to have sexually immoral thoughts. Don’t be discouraged. This will take patience and endurance. These kinds of thoughts will come every day for a while. Sometimes multiple times per day. As we continue this practice of putting our sins on the table and giving them to our Lord, they will begin to lessen. We are being changed. This is just the beginning. These dark parts in our heart don’t come out as a whole and they do not come out as fast as we would like. It is a process.
As we gain Christian maturity, we still step off the path. But we feel his power working in us to get back on the path. Christians seeking to be one with him will perform this acknowledgement at the table many, many times. We are becoming one with our Lord. He is restoring our soul. This is sanctification. This is how we walk with God.
